Sex, Violence & Debauchery

Bottoms up

We've all heard the famous proverb "for want of a bottle opener the drinker was lost, for want of drinkers the bar was lost..." With this bottle opener, cleverly disguised as a ring, you'll never have to worry about losing your kingdom of alcohol, debauchery or DUIs again!

SPECS

• 316L stainless steel
• Color options - silver, black, blue, gold and red
• Size 12
• Width - 20 mm (0.79 in)
• Environnemental - lead & nickel free, 100% allergy free

Our position on gun violence?

Don't be an active shooter, be an active drinker instead with this large caliber ice cube mold.

Certification: CIQ,CE / EU
Feature: Eco-Friendly Plastic
Material: Plastic
Plastic Type: PE

Have a drinking problem? SAMHSA’s National Helpline 24/7, 365-day-a-year (U.S.):  1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Delivery: 2-4 weeks

This product ships to you directly from our overseas supplier

A wicked skull replica cast from a human skull

Carving time: 125 hours

Mr. Banana Wine Stopper will make sure your wine or other beverage stays fresh the only way his lecherous little mind knows—by sticking his banana in the hole (sound familiar)?

• Material: silicone and ABS
• Size: 7 x 6 x 10cm

Special Forces are as badass as it gets. And a skull is as badass as it is. We put the two together to make this carved skull, a beast of craftsmanship.

Keep your drink as potent as you want your dick to be. These bullet-shaped whiskey stones will chill your drink without diluting it. Our badass bullet whiskey stone gift set is made of 304 stainless steel, which won't rust or corrode.  

Most importantly, it holds a cold temperature like a boss without watering down your poison.

Cooler than conventional whiskey stones? Hell yes. Comes with a drawstring pouch for easy travel and so you can feel like James fucking Bond (or probably more like Austin Powers).

Delivery: 1-4 weeks

This product ships to you directly from our US or overseas supplier

You're guaranteed to have a blast

Have fun blowing shit up with this 3 megaton Soviet-era nuclear missile. 

With a 5,000-mile range, you can destroy a city, small country, or your in-laws' entire world from the comfort of your own home. Or just blackmail governments for cash, cheese or hard-to-find bike parts.

• Intercontinental ballistic delivery system included.
• Dishwasher safe, allergy-free, environmentally tested.
• Honeytrap experience at KGB Strippers included with every purchase.
• See the blast radius and casualty estimates with this neat simulator (just enter 3000 in the kiloton yield).

Semyorka means "quality" in Russian

In the chaos that ensued the breakup of the USSR, a few of these puppies fell out the back of a truck and into our lap. Good times.

They come with a 2-day warranty, but you can also purchase a 15-year service plan (you're welcome).

We stand behind the quality of all our products. If it doesn't detonate then return it with proof of purchase. We'll replace it with the same warhead or another one of equal megatonage*.

*Supplies are limited--we reserve the right to replace your missile with a bag of sweet, juicy dog poo (Target bag included).

In case you need us to spell it out,...no Virginia, we're not actually selling a nuclear missile. This is a fucking joke.

If you're a dumbass, rich and/or generous enough to buy this then you're responsible for any transactional and other incidental costs associated with giving you your money back. 

The other option is that you let us donate some or all of these monies to two charities we support—Biker Down and Association of Recovering Motorcyclists 

Brought to you by:

Sure to have a blast

Does your drink blow? Make it blow up instead! Your drinks just got a whole lot more explosive with this grenade-shaped ice cube mold. Its large size will chill your drink in a flash. 

Fill the silicone mold with water, freeze, chuck it in a glass, and take cover. Buy four for an illuminating discount.

SPECS

Made with freezer, oven, microwave, and dishwasher-safe, durable silicone
Working Temperature - -60 to +240° C
Size - 10cm x 6cm

Delivery: 2-4 weeks

This product ships to you directly from our overseas supplier

Material: Resin
Size: .71" (18mm) x .71" x .71"

Warning: Not suitable for children under 36 months, playing on a sandy beach, or gambling with your soul (use a fiddle for that). If you have a gambling habit then don't buy (and find a cheaper habit).

Delivery: 2-4 weeks

This product ships to you directly from our overseas supplier

It doesn't get more badass than this

Made of alloy metal and carved with Western designs, this unique belt buckle has a real scorpion embedded in it.

And did we mention the luminous center glows in the dark after being exposed to light?

You're welcome 🤟🏽

SPECS

Fits on standard 1.5" snap-on belts

Size: 9 x 7 cm (3.54 x 2.76 in.)

Weight: 0.089kg

Rock 'n reload

When you're shooting for that outlaw bandit look, it's time to rock this genuine leather belt that looks like a bandolier loaded with bullets.

It comes in four colors and three sizes, and is also studded with skull and crossbones, and a design featuring a gun in front of a row of bullets.

The buckle and bullets are metal alloy, and the belt is 3.8 cm (1.18 in.) wide.

Rock it and you'll never run out of ammo, or have to ask yourself "did I fire six shots or only five?"

 Plays well with Bullet Boots.

Delivery: 2-4 weeks

This product ships to you directly from our overseas supplier

Rock your animal totem

If you have an animal totem that calls out to you, you might wanna check out these OG, manly-sized, western belt buckles. Your choice of cock, bull, scorpion, horse, leaf and ridin' cowboy yeeha!

We recommend the cock. Why? Why else? Because you could have oodles of fun with it. "Hey boss, I'll get that report for you in a sec, but I'm kinda busy adjusting my cock now", "Thanks for dinner grandma, would you like to see my new cock?" etc.

SPECS

Material: Alloy 

Size - 5.5 in x 4 in (14 x 9.9 cm)

Once you go Black Beard ...

These ornate rings harken back to the daze of yore during the Golden Age of Piracy. Now you too can keep piracy alive and kickin' (or slashin') with these badass, baroque rings. 

Made of zinc alloy, they feature a compartment you can stash your piratey shit in--gunpowder, a miniature treasure map drawn on a shrunken head, or your pre-raiding fix.

For the KING'S CROSS ring, please enter whether you want it in gold or silver in the Order Note section during checkout.

We all gotta duck when the shit hits the fan

A MYRIAD OF USES

- Fertilizer.

- Improve survivability during a pandemic by keeping people away.

- Explosives for militant animal rights protests.

- Sell on coprophilia kink sites for a handsome profit.

- Send chocolate-covered poo bites to your nemesis.

- Discourage police from searching your smelly car when you're transporting controlled substances.

- Confuse drug detection dogs—we recommend our specialty Bitch-In-Heat Poo (currently half off).

- Place in front of neighbor's door in paper bag, set fire, ring doorbell and run away—repeat until shot or disfigured by a Doberman.

- Hide poo in a snowball or mudpie and throw it at someone much larger than you.

- Gift wrap it, label it Winnie The Poo's Poo, and give it to a deserving child.

- Throw it at your nemeses.

- Throw it at a biker (R.I.P.).

- Throw it at your mama naked.

- Throw it at a chimp (who threw poo at your granmama first).

- Create an Amazon listing for a glitter bomb—then send it with exploding poo instead of glitter.

For a chance to win a Big Bag 'O Poo
Submit your usage suggestions

100% ORGANIC & ETHICALLY SOURCED

We harvest our poo from our two prodigious poop-makin' producers, Daizy and Bandit.

This Bag 'O Poo is 100% organic and made of the best dog poo money can buy. You get it straight from the source, our dogs' anuses.

We guarantee this product is 100% full of shit.

If you find better shit elsewhere, it's just gonna be tough shit...because our shit is softer!*"

- Deme Spy, CEO 

*Does not apply when our dogs or preppies (see below) are not properly hydrated.

Supplies are limited. We reserve the right to replace our dog poo with this guy's 100%, ethically-sourced preppy poo--always harvested safely in Ivy-League schools and other elite institutional settings.

Blow Shit Up...

With this Grenade Whiskey Decanter Set. It includes a liquor decanter and 2 whiskey glasses with a wooden holder.

• Unique decanter grenade Design

• Ergonomically designed handle

• Liquor decanter and whiskey glasses are made of premium food-grade, crystal clear, lead-free glass showing the original color of whiskey

• 850ml large-capacity decanter can hold a whole bottle of whiskey, and two 300ml whiskey glasses can get you and your crew drunk as fuck before you wake up and your lives comes crashing down around you.

• The matching glass stopper can also be used as a decanter to store whiskey

• The matching funnel can help you easily fill the decanter without spilling the whiskey + the matching weighted base maintains its stability

• Comes with: 850ml Whiskey decanter with glass stopper, 2 set of 300ml large glasses with 2 simple coasters, stainless steel funnel, vintage weighted base, packaged in an elegant box

• 100% realistic—if you throw it at someone it'll probably shatter someone's dreams. Bottoms up to a world where this'll be the only use for 'em 

Delivery: 2-4 weeks

This product ships to you directly from our overseas supplier