- Discourage police from searching your smelly car when you're transporting controlled substances.
- Confuse drug detection dogs—we recommend our specialty Bitch-In-Heat Poo (currently half off). - Place in front of neighbor's door in paper bag, set fire, ring doorbell and run away—repeat until shot or disfigured by a Doberman.
- Hide poo in a snowball or mudpie and throw it at someone much larger than you.
- Gift wrap it, label it Winnie The Poo's Poo, and give it to a deserving child.
We harvest our poo from our two prodigious poop-makin' producers, Daizy and Bandit.
This Bag 'O Poo is 100% organic and made of the best dog poo money can buy. You get it straight from the source, our dogs' anuses.
We guarantee this product is 100% full of shit.
If you find better shit elsewhere, it's just gonna be tough shit...because our shit is softer!*"
- Deme Spy, CEO
*Does not apply when our dogs or preppies (see below) are not properly hydrated.
TARGET BAG INCLUDED!
WE'RE NOT REALLY SELLING YOU POO, THIS IS A FUCKING JOKE!
BUT YOU CAN BUY THE TARGET BAG IF YOU WANT
Supplies are limited. We reserve the right to replace our dog poo with this guy's 100%, ethically-sourced preppy poo--always harvested safely in Ivy-League schools and other elite institutional settings.
Armored. Reversible. Rugged AF. And not just for bikers.
Handmade by our artisans and modelled after the "barbarian" fur vests rocked by outlaw bikers of the 60s and 70s, they're worn over t-shirts, pirate shirts, blue jean jackets, leather jackets or nothin' at all.
• REVERSIBLE—turn inside out to rock the leather or fur side (zips both ways)
• PROTECTIVE LEATHER INNER LINING with an embossed logo option for your MC or other image (or choose the cloth inner lining option with your image choice)
• HIDDEN WATERPROOF BACKPACK large enough to fit your gear, including a full face helmet
• SPECIALIZED POCKETS up the ass, including for your phone, sunglasses, wallet, smokes, stash and business cards
• SURPRISES—like a credit card knife in a dedicated pocket and a cleaning cloth attached to a sunglass pocket
• HIGHLY CUSTOMIZABLE—choose leather type and color, fur type, cloth inner (with your choice of graphic) instead of leather, embossed logo, and gender cut.
• BACK ARMOR—CE-approved, removable
• BIKER STRONG—quality leather & materials, heavy duty stitching, industrial-strength zipper, realistic & durable faux fur . . . yeah you're giving this to your grandkids.
• HANDMADE by our artisans for our innovative American biker brand, assembled in the USA
WOLF-INSPIRED
You can rock this bad boy over a tee (or shirtless) during warmer months (vest = natural AC).
For colder rides, that extra fur layer over your jacket will make all the difference.
It's the same reason a wolf's shaggy coat helps insulate it from the arctic cold. The fur traps heated air and protects from wind and rain. The leather inner lining gives you yet another layer of insulation + protects against road rash.
*You certify that you possess the legal right for us to use the image you send us. You also certify that you are in no way connected to the shadowy organization "I".
Why choose cloth instead of leather?
• You wanna rock a logo or graphic when you reverse it (like this celebrated Brooklyn event producer)
• You're an international DJ or hip hop artist who sweats up a storm on stage
• Your parole precludes you from riding more than eleven miles from the Equator, or
• You enjoy the quaint charm of road rash. Our default choice for The Outlaw is Brown Long-Haired.
ENTER a fur type** in the ORDER NOTE section if you want something else:
**There may be variations of color and fur type, but you'll still look dope AF. ENTER "Fem Cut" in the ORDER NOTE section during checkout if you want the retro-fashion Fem Cut, like this acclaimed NY performer.
411: most female customers prefer the default Male cut. If you want that retro hourglass look, ENTER Fem Cut.
ENTER "Custom Sizing" in the ORDER NOTE section during checkout with your height, weight and at least your waist and chest measurements (indicate inches or cm).
For your best fit, ENTER as many of these measurements as you can:
Contact Biker Dope for wholesale pricing and customizations for your club, camp, spy cell, or bingo group.
FREE SHIPPIN' no youre not trippin***
DELIVERY 2-4 weeks
***Unless you really are trippin', or live in one of those expensive shipping countries
OUR BARBARIAN LINE FUR BIKER VEST COLLECTION
ABOUT OUR FUR
We only sell faux fur. Synthetic fur is just as warm, less expensive, requires less care and lasts longer than dead animal fur. Plus we've been blackmailed with exposing your mama naked if we used real fur.
THE WILDING Reversible Fur Utility Vest
Regular price
$555.00
Save $-555.00
WILD SWAGGER
Intelligently designed survival gear keeping you warm when it's cold and cool when it's hot.
The only fur biker vests in the world—reversible, armored, rugged AF—for all genders, and not just for bikers.
Handmade by our artisans and modelled after the "barbarian" fur vests rocked by outlaw bikers of the 60s and 70s, they're worn over t-shirts, pirate shirts, blue jean jackets, leather jackets or nothin' at all.
Think these one-of-a-kind vests will serve you at festivals, raves, concerts, clubs, the Playa, and at cosplay and hip-hop throwdowns? Is the Space Pope reptilian? Does a one-legged duck swim in circles? Should we stop asking stupid questions?
• REVERSIBLE—turn inside out to rock the leather or fur side (zips both ways)
• PROTECTIVE LEATHER INNER LINING with an embossed image or logo option for your MC, Camp, spy cell or other org—or choose the cloth inner lining option with your image choice
• HIDDEN REMOVABLE WATERPROOF BACKPACK large enough to fit your gear (including a full face helmet)—just unzip to remove and carry around
• SPECIALIZED POCKETS up the ass, including for your phone, sunglasses, wallet, smokes, stash and business cards
• SURPRISES—like a credit card knife in a hidden pocket and a cleaning cloth attached to a dedicated sunglasses pocket
• HIGHLY CUSTOMIZABLE—choose leather type and color, fur color, cloth inner instead of leather (with your choice of graphic), your embossed logo or image choice, and gender cut.
• BACK ARMOR—CE-approved and removable
• BIKER STRONG—quality leather & materials, heavy duty stitching, industrial-strength zipper, realistic & durable faux fur . . . yeah you're giving this to your grandkids.
• HANDMADE by our artisans and manifested in the USA
WOLF-INSPIRED
You can rock this bad boy over a tee (or shirtless) during warmer months (vest = natural AC).
For colder rides, that extra fur layer over your jacket will make all the difference.
It's the same reason a wolf's shaggy coat helps insulate it from the arctic cold. The fur traps heated air and protects from wind and rain. The leather inner lining gives you yet another layer of insulation + protects against road rash.
Fun fact: The Wilding was inspired by the fur vest worn by a biker acting in Scooter Trash (above), an early 80's porn flick that now has a cult following. It was written and acted in by 1%er club members from Jersey + actresses from motorcycle pinup mags of the time.
You'll be getting allot of attention—please let 'em know you're rockin' Biker Dope.
JUST
1. SELECT YOUR U.S. SIZE 2. — E N T E R — YOUR HEIGHT & WEIGHT in the ORDER NOTE section during checkout, and 3. ORDER
*You certify that you possess the legal right for us to use the image you send us. You also certify that you are in no way connected to the shadowy organization "I".
Why choose cloth instead of leather?
• You wanna rock a logo or graphic when you reverse it (like this celebrated Brooklyn event producer)
• You're an international DJ or hip hop artist who sweats up a storm on stage
• Your parole precludes you from riding more than eleven miles from the Equator, or
• You enjoy the quaint charm of road rash
Our default fur choice for The Wilding is Gray-Black (we think White looks dope too). But we can also customize your Dope vest with another fur color (e.g. a leopard design) or fur type (e.g. long-haired v. short-haired).
Just — E N T E R — your requested fur color or type in the ORDER NOTE section and we'll see what we can do.
— E N T E R— "Fem Cut" in the ORDER NOTE section during checkout if you want the retro-fashion Fem Cut, like this acclaimed NY performer.
411: most female customers prefer the default Male cut. If you want thatretro hourglass look, enter Fem Cut.
— E N T E R— "Custom Sizing" in the ORDER NOTE section during checkout with your height, weight and at least your waist and chest measurements (indicate inches or cm).
For your best fit — E N T E R— as many of these measurements as you can:
Contact Biker Dope for wholesale pricing and customizations for your club, camp, spy cell, or bingo group.
FREE SHIPPIN' no youre not trippin***
DELIVERY 2-4 weeks
***Unless you really are trippin', or live in one a them expensive shipping countries
OUR BARBARIAN FUR BIKER VEST COLLECTION
ABOUT OUR FUR
We only sell faux fur. Synthetic fur is just as warm, less expensive, requires less care and lasts longer than dead animal fur. Plus we've been blackmailed with exposing your mama naked if we used real fur.
THE SAVAGE Reversible Fur Utility Vest
Regular price
$555.00
Save $-555.00
SAVAGE SWAGGER
These are the only fur biker vests in the world.
Armored. Reversible. Rugged AF. And not just for bikers.
Handmade by our artisans and modelled after the "barbarian" fur vests rocked by outlaw bikers of the 60s and 70s, they're worn over t-shirts, pirate shirts, blue jean jackets, leather jackets or nothin' at all.
• REVERSIBLE—turn inside out to rock the leather or fur side (zips both ways)
• PROTECTIVE LEATHER INNER LINING with an embossed logo option for your MCor other image (or choose the cloth inner lining option with your image choice)
• HIDDEN WATERPROOF BACKPACK large enough to fit your gear, including a full face helmet
• SPECIALIZED POCKETS up the ass, including for your phone, sunglasses, wallet, smokes, stash and business cards
• SURPRISES—like a credit card knife in a dedicated pocket and a cleaning cloth attached to a sunglass pocket
• HIGHLY CUSTOMIZABLE—choose leather type and color, fur type, cloth inner (with your choice of graphic) instead of leather, embossed logo, and gender cut.
• BACK ARMOR—CE-approved, removable
• BIKER STRONG—quality leather & materials, heavy duty stitching, industrial-strength zipper, realistic & durable faux fur . . . yeah you're giving this to your grandkids.
• HANDMADE by our artisans for our innovative American biker brand, assembled in the USA
WOLF-INSPIRED
You can rock this bad boy over a tee (or shirtless) during warmer months (vest = natural AC).
For colder rides, that extra fur layer over your jacket will make all the difference.
It's the same reason a wolf's shaggy coat helps insulate it from the arctic cold. The fur traps heated air and protects from wind and rain. The leather inner lining gives you yet another layer of insulation + protects against road rash.
*You certify that you possess the legal right for us to use the image you send us. You also certify that you are in no way connected to the shadowy organization "I".
Why choose cloth instead of leather?
• You wanna rock a logo or graphic when you reverse it (like this celebrated Brooklyn event producer)
• You're an international DJ or hip hop artist who sweats up a storm on stage
• Your parole precludes you from riding more than eleven miles from the Equator, or
• You enjoy the quaint charm of road rash.
Our default choice for The Savage is Gray-Black, Short-Haired.
ENTER a fur type** in the ORDER NOTE section if you want something else:
**There may be variations of color and fur type, but you'll still look dope AF. ENTER "Fem Cut" in the ORDER NOTE section during checkout if you want the retro-fashion Fem Cut, like this acclaimed NY performer.
411: most female customers prefer the default Male cut. If you want thatretro hourglass look, ENTER Fem Cut.
ENTER "Custom Sizing" in the ORDER NOTE section during checkout with your height, weight and at least your waist and chest measurements (indicate inches or cm).
For your best fit, ENTER as many of these measurements as you can:
Contact Biker Dope for wholesale pricing and customizations for your club, camp, spy cell, or bingo group.
FREE SHIPPIN' no youre not trippin***
DELIVERY 2-4 weeks
***Unless you really are trippin', or live in one of those expensive shipping countries
OUR BARBARIAN FUR BIKER VEST COLLECTION
ABOUT OUR FUR
We only sell faux fur. Synthetic fur is just as warm, less expensive, requires less care and lasts longer than dead animal fur. Plus we've been blackmailed by 1%er animal rights commandos with exposing your mama naked if we didn't comply.
Hooded Fur Vest
Regular price
$88.00
Save $-88.00
WARMTH & SWAG
Here at Biker Dope, we've learned as all-weather riders that a fur vest is that extra layer that makes a difference when it's really fucking cold outside. Yerp, there's a reason why cavemen, Vikings and barbarians wore fur.
Most importantly, it adds an extra layer of biker badass from the outlaw days of 60s and 70s yore.
This is not a biker-specific vest, but does close in the front with a regular zipper.
WANT OUR TOP SHELF?
If you're looking for the only biker-specific fur vests in the world (with reversible inner leather, CE armor, utility pockets, an emergency credit card knife etc.) you'll wanna check out Biker Dope's outlaw-style vests.
The hooded vest you're looking at now is offered as a dope alternative from an overseas supplier if your broke-ass can't afford our quality gear. If so, you can also send us a letter requesting a subsidized price for low-income customers with supporting evidence.
SIZING
If you plan on wearing this over your jacket, please order it at least two sizes larger than your regular US/European size.
Delivery: 2-4 weeks
This product ships to you directly from our overseas supplier
ABOUT OUR FUR
We only sell faux fur. Synthetic fur is just as warm, less expensive, requires less care and lasts longer than dead animal fur. Plus we've been blackmailed by 1%er animal rights commandos with exposing your mama naked if we didn't comply.
Here at Biker Dope, we've learned as all-weather riders that a fur vest is that extra layer that makes a difference when it's really fucking cold outside. Yerp, there's a reason why cavemen, Vikings and barbarians wore fur.
Most importantly, it adds an extra layer of biker badass from the outlaw days of 60s and 70s yore.
It closes in the front with small hooks and is not a biker-specific vest.
WANT OUR TOP SHELF?
If you're looking for the only biker-specific fur vests in the world (with reversible inner leather, CE armor, utility pockets, an emergency credit card knife etc.) you'll wanna check out Biker Dope's outlaw-style vests.
The vest you're looking at now is offered as a dope alternative from an overseas supplier if your broke-ass can't afford our quality gear. If so, you can also send us a letter requesting a subsidized price for low-income customers with supporting evidence.
SIZING
If you plan on wearing this over your jacket, please order it at least two sizes larger than your regular US/European size.
Delivery: 2-4 weeks
This product ships to you directly from our overseas supplier
ABOUT OUR FUR
We only sell faux fur. Synthetic fur is just as warm, less expensive, requires less care and lasts longer than dead animal fur. Plus we've been blackmailed by 1%er animal rights commandos with exposing your mama naked if we didn't comply.
Rockstar Riding Pants by Biker Dope™
Regular price
$333.00
Save $-333.00
ROCK IT!
These unisex leather pants are based on the classic design worn by outlaw bikers from the 60s and 70s. Biker Dope's laced, genuine cowhide riding pants not only look dope AF but'll keep you warm and protect you from road rash.
These are the only classic laced riding pants that come with an option for CE armor. One of the other things we love about these pants is that you can loosen the lacing at the waist and legs to make room for other layers during cold-weather riding.
Plus all our Dope comes with an emergency credit card knife and other surprises.
Do we get tons of compliments when we're rockin' these? You'll find out [cue evil laughter] ... all we ask is that you let people know you're rockin' our Dope <3
Want another color leather? Want lambskin instead of cowhide?
Want your club's logo or another image embossed on the ass? (+$200 for the mold, then +$30 for each pair of pants it's applied to)
ENTER these options (or other special instructions) in the ORDER NOTE section during checkout.
Standard waist sizing varies across regions. In the US and UK, vanity sizing means your waist's actual measurement is usually between 2 to 4 inches larger than the size indicated on most brands. We highly recommend that you measure your actual measured waist and inseam lengths.
ENTER this info in the ORDER NOTE section during checkout (please ENTER "actual measurements" along with the numbers).
At the very least. enter your height, weight and standard pants size (waist and inseam) for your region—which we assume is your shipping address.
For a female cut: ENTER "Female Cut" in the ORDER NOTE section.
You heard right. Only 50 bucks more for a custom fit.
ENTER "Custom Sizing"in the ORDER NOTE section during checkout with these measurements per the below diagram (waist, inseam, hips & rise).
WARNING: Use responsibly. These pants come with Swag Magic™. Ordering a custom pair will Turbocharge The Fuck™ outta your Swag Effect™.
Contact Biker Dope for wholesale pricing and customizations for your club, camp, spy cell, or bingo group.
FREE SHIPPIN' no youre not trippin*
DELIVERY 2-4 weeks
*Unless you really are trippin', or live in one a them expensive shipping countries
OUR BARBARIAN FUR BIKER VEST COLLECTION
Dragon Riders
Regular price
$277.00
Save $-277.00
The baddest fingerless Python skin biker gloves you can own
INSTRUCTIONS
Step 1: Clear the area.
Step 2: Feel the supple python skin and top-end leather as you slip your Dragon Riders on. Step 3: Revel at their carved & cast, antiqued brass crocodile spikes cresting the rise of your hands,
Step 4: Fire up your dragon and take the fuck off.
You may have to fend off the hordes as they try to possess these rare custom fingerless gloves, in black or cream, and handcrafted with astonishing detail for a badass reptilian aesthetic.
SIZING / RETURNS
Please note the standard sizes for these gloves run small. As they are made of supple leather they will stretch, so we recommend getting a somewhat smaller size.
Refer to the glove sizing guide below. If your size isn't an option here, let us know and include your hand measurements in the notes section during checkout (or just email us) and we'd be happy to make a custom pair for you at no extra cost.
In case of returns, a delivery and restocking fee of 10% of the sales price will be charged for this custom High Life item—please use the below sizing guide to assure a perfect fit.
PHOTO CONTEST
Are these bad boys utilitarian works of art? Let us know, and send us picsof you rockin' 'em. The best product pic'll win a free pair.
Delivery: 1-2 weeks
This product ships to you directly from our US supplier