Get a Life for far less than a mephistophelean trade!
Don't sell your soul to the devil, or worse yet, to white collar America...
Buy a motorcycle instead!
You heard right. Buy a motorcycle, any motorcycle, even these cheap shit bikes on Amazon, and you're guaranteed to have a Life!*
One of adventure, boozin', bar brawls, strip clubs and 10 to 20-year stints at the Pen. Unless of course you're anyone in this video below. Then even motorcycles can't help you.
*Does not apply in Guam or Puerto Rico