Big Bag 'O Poo
Big Bag 'O Poo
Big Bag 'O Poo
Big Bag 'O Poo
Big Bag 'O Poo

Big Bag 'O Poo

Regular price $111.11 Save $-111.11
0 in stock


We all gotta duck when the shit hits the fan


A MYRIAD OF USES

Fertilizer.

- Improve survivability during a pandemic by keeping people away.

- Explosives for militant animal rights protests.

- Sell on coprophilia kink sites for a handsome profit.

- Send chocolate-covered poo bites to your nemesis.

- Discourage police from searching your smelly car when you're transporting controlled substances.

- Confuse drug detection dogswe recommend our specialty Bitch-In-Heat Poo (currently half off).

- Place in front of neighbor's door in paper bag, set fire, ring doorbell and run away—repeat until shot or disfigured by a Doberman.


- Hide poo in a snowball or mudpie and throw it at someone much larger than you.

- Gift wrap it, label it Winnie The Poo's Poo, and give it to a deserving child.

- Throw it at your nemeses.

- Throw it at a biker (R.I.P.).

- Throw it at your mama naked.

- Throw it at a chimp (who threw poo at your granmama first).

- Create an Amazon listing for a glitter bomb—then send it with exploding poo instead of glitter.


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100% ORGANIC & ETHICALLY SOURCED

We harvest our poo from our two prodigious poop-makin' producers, Daizy and Bandit.

This Bag 'O Poo is 100% organic and made of the best dog poo money can buy. You get it straight from the source, our dogs' anuses.

We guarantee this product is 100% full of shit.

If you find better shit elsewhere, it's just gonna be tough shit...because our shit is softer!*"

- Deme Spy, CEO 


*Does not apply when our dogs or preppies (see below) are not properly hydrated.





TARGET BAG INCLUDED!

WE'RE NOT REALLY SELLING YOU POO, THIS IS A FUCKING JOKE!

BUT YOU CAN BUY THE TARGET BAG IF YOU WANT





Supplies are limited. We reserve the right to replace our dog poo with this guy's 100%, ethically-sourced preppy poo--always harvested safely in Ivy-League schools and other elite institutional settings.